ROCKSTAR (LIFE) UPDATE:
Just back from visiting my sister Newt in Calgary…
ME: Mom, I don’t know about the band…
MOM: What Mikey? ….. Mikey? ….. What Mikey??!?!?
ME: I couldn’t line up a single gig in Calgary.
MOM: Well Mikey, you were in the burbs. You’ll never be discovered there at all. Like I mean, really…
ME: Well, it’s Newt’s fault for living way out there. BUT, when I was out there I learned how to play Ukulele.
MOM: How? On the YouTube?
ME: No, I took a Ukulele.
MOM: And you just taught yourself?
ME: Yeah.
MOM: Well that’s good Mike, that means you’re smart.
ME: So that can be the new thing for Andrew Damen and I, we can do some Ukulele songs.
MOM: Does Damen know about that?
ME: Well he doesn’t have to learn Uke, he can still play guitar. Do you know any good Ukulele songs?
MOM: No, I have no idea, no, is there some Hawaiian song? Yeah, I like that one Hawaiian song. Steve [calling to my dad], what’s that one Hawaiian song I like?
DAD: No, I don’t know what song.
MOM: I had you tape it. Several versions.
ME: Was it by Elvis?
DAD: Was it Don Ho?
MOM: It was like a New Year’s song. Steve, you know what one I mean.
DAD: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
MOM: YouTube it. YouTube Mike. YouTube… ‘Ukulele’… Hawaiian”. Mike?!
ME: Mom?! Everyone in Hawaii plays the Ukulele. You gotta do better than that.
MOM: No, it’s it’s that famous guy. But he’s dead now. Steve, what was the guy that’s dead now?
ME: Jimi Hendrix?
MOM: Nooooo! No no no. Hawaiian dude.
DAD: Don Ho.
MOM: Nooo, no. It was that big guy. Don Ho was not a big fat guy. He’s dead, he’s the big guy.
ME: Do you like ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’, by Iz?
MOM: Yes! That’s it! That’s it!
ME: He’s dead?
MOM: Yeah, the big guy, he’s dead. I looooove that song. I think it’s a Ukulele song. He did it so beautifully.
ME: Okay, I’ll see if Damen wants to do ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’.
MOM: Yeah, learn that one Mikey. Seriously, that is a beauty. But Mikey, you have to learn it that way that guy did it. Not the guy, not Don Ho. The Guy.
ME: Don Ho didn’t do ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’. Judy Garland did.
MOM: Well Judy Garland did one of the originals, but no, the way the guy.
DAD: Don Ho did [inaudible].
MOM: Oh, bluuuah oooooo bllu ppppbbbbbb. No, don’t do that one. Can you do ‘Mary Did You Know?
ME: Is that a Christmas song? By who?
MOM: Yes, It’s my favourite right now. Well there was two guys, and one was a skinny guy that lost. Or did he win?
ME: Don Ho?
DAD: Clay Aitken.
MOM: YouTube that one Mikey. It’s so stunningly wonderful. YouTube it! YouTube it Mikey! YouTube it!!!
*Side note – I have no clue who Don Ho is, or if I spelled their name correctly.