Hurtin’ Songs


This morning’s chat. I think my mom actually wants me to be a Rockstar:

MOM: So, what are you doing this weekend?

ME: I don’t know man… sleep?

MOM: I don’t think you can do your fairwell tour now. Royal Wood is doing his right now.

ME: Oh. And you know this because…?

MOM: We communicate, I’m in the know.

ME: Yeah, I bet.

MOM: But Mikey, I think you and Andrew Damen need to change your wardrobe. You need to look country.

ME: Whhhaaaaat. Ugh.

MOM: If you were country fashion, you know fringe, country – And plaid, but it can’t be button up, it has to be snaps.

ME: Eh b’y, I know. It’s gotta be Pearl snaps.

MOM: See, you know. But you gotta have fringe. There’s gotta be fringe, and you know, maybe the boots, and fringe.

ME: And the hat too?

MOM: Yes, that’ll be the ‘pièce de résistance’. And fringe.

ME: Ugh. Okay, we can look that, but do we have to sing like that? Like, become… ugh, country.

MOM: Yeah, you know, a bit of twang, you can do it. You can do that, sing songs with lots of meaning, and you know, hurtin’ songs.

ME: C’mon. Ugh. No way Damen will, (wisely,) agree to this. Like, would you ever listen to us??!?

MOM: No. Never. But your dad would make a CD, and make me listen in the car. But you’ll have to sing hurtin’s songs. “H” “U” “R” “T” “I” “N” “apostrophe”. Hurtin’ songs.

ME: Yeah mom, I know… “hurtIN”. So, would we have to get Beiber in on this too?

MOM: Yeah, you know, he is moving back to the country. He’s tired of the Paparazzi in LA and New York, so maybe he’d be interested in being hick like you.

ME: I don’t know mom, I don’t think Damen will be down with this.

MOM: But don’t forget ‘fringe’,

ME: Yeah mom, I got it.

MOM: You need fringe. This could work. But add the fringe.

ME: Okay mom, I gotta go.

MOM: Don’t forget the fringe!