ROCKSTAR (LIFE) UPDATE:
Phone call yesterday, driving home from the ‘Towel:
MOM: Well Mikey, why can’t you just find a girl?
ME: I don’t know mom. I’m so busy. I need to marry a rich girl.
MOM: Well, yes, Obviously.
MOM: I don’t know either Mikey. I guess there’s no one here for you. I guess you are going to have to go international.
ME: You think there’s no girls in Canada for me?
MOM: No, Mikey. I just… No. No girls here. You’ll have to go overseas.
ME: Well, can it at least be an English speaking country?
MOM: No, it doesn’t have to be. You could go to Poland. There are lots of beautiful women there. I think you need to go to Poland.
ME: Do you think the band can make it in Poland?
MOM: Well Mikey, the Beatles did this thing in Berlin. I saw it on CNN or something. And now in London they have these tours, where all of the toursists can see where they all grew up.
ME: So…. ? Um…. So, would your run a tour is Listowel??
MOM: Yes, people could see where you grew up, in the hood.
ME: Nobody wants to see south-central, mom. But I guess to add to the tour you could go across the river to the nice part of town, and show where Jared Keeso grew up.
MOM: I wonder if he has read about his parents’ business burning down?
ME: Yeah mom, I’m guessing he heard about it.
MOM: What a shame that was.
ME: Yes. And I just don’t think the tour will be that interesting.
MOM: Well, yes, and you have to be famous first.
ME: There’s the problem isn’t it.
MOM: Well Mikey, things aren’t always easy. Like, look at you. Still no girlfriend. And…
ME: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
MOM: Well, let me finish a few things at home, then I’ll put my focus into fixing you. But for now, when you get home, soak that shirt – chocolate stains you know. Do it when you get home. Then I’ll work on you.